so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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