I want to walk on stilts...naked
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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