he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
