We named our party play list daddy issues
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
