that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
