Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
