I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
