like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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