Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
