I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
