How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
