mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
