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my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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