absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
