nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
