he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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