Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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