we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
