the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
