i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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