you would pick up someone in the library
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
