One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
