I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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