I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
