just come out here and I will go home with you...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
that is very illegal...i love you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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