Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
