she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
