Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
