I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
