Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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