I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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