I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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