you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
