at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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