i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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