giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
