So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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