I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
