i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
