So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
