how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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