Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
