my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
