I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
