You're so nebulous sometimes
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
