just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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