I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Randomize
