Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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