My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sarcasm needs its own font
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
