I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
