Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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