So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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