All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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