how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
